Millennial Trash

by Particle Devotion

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released March 2, 2018

Music and lyrics by Brian Bell
Music by Particle Devotion
Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Ryan Erwin in Baton Rouge, LA
Produced by Ryan Erwin & Particle Devotion
Copyright 2018 Old Flame Records, All rights reserved

Particle Devotion is:

Brian Bell (rhythm guitar, lead vocal)
Ryan Erwin (lead guitar, harmony vocal)
Isaac Johnston (drums, percussion)
Clyde Bates (synthesizer, multi-instrumental)
Nate Mackowiak (bass guitar)


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Particle Devotion Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Catalogue for the Exhibit
I have not eaten in days
at least not a thing substantial anyway
and oh what was it I was going to say
it slipped right out my brain

and I have not smiled in weeks
and I have not laughed, at least not genuinely
and all my friends look like they’re strangers to me
oh what a sight to have seen

but I have been trying, been writing it down
yeah I have been crying, been pulling my hair out

but everything that I tried
every moment I have known
like 20 minutes with my father seem more precious now that I am grown but how I've wanted for the future
how I've wanted for another
to write it down in black and white and bloody cursive, man
cause I lie sometimes when I get nervous

that I thought that I would feel better, feel settled by now
I thought that I’d feel different by now
Track Name: Sarah Tried
the day's last light
driving quickly by
a texas sky
really I could be i guess any other kind

switching times
and write a little story loosely based on life
like Sarah tried
I never really saw you but i felt alright
Track Name: Hesse on the Beach
I couldn’t sleep last night
for no particular reason
I should've turned my bathroom light off
think that mightve helped
her crazy ass started texting me
about my hooded blue long sleeve t
man you can keep that shit

step out to the courtyard
gonna roll up a cigarette
I'm out of papers
but I bet ryan has some
this could be my morning
my moment of clarity
this could all be easy

but I think I like being sad
I think I like being angry, man
I think I like being lonely
but if it doesn’t work out
at least I dont gotta feel guilty

that shit talk was all jealousy
but now that it happened to me
I think you and I should be friends
and make a scene
call up all the other former kings
I think I was hoping for a trophy
but just got a letter instead

but I could be your glory
your weed in the morning
this could all be dripping
like lovers in France
but I'm just your story
like getting off at your b+b
ain’t the real me boring

and ain’t it cooler when I'm sad
ain't it cool being angry, man
don't it feel good getting lonely
and how it doesnt work out
and how I'm through feeling all empty
Track Name: It Doesn't Matter
ended up becoming something I never wanted to be
in bed all twitching, writhing, wanting for blah blah blah blah
like feeling softness on my lips
walking in Brooklyn blasting gifts
I dont feel nothing anymore

let's bail to texas
to our new friends
lay in the creek bed and burn our skin
I slept through breakfast and expect less
of turning circles and made amends
for television and cigarettes
boring parties and craving sex
I wasnt graceful like before

where have you been at, man
was it better there
cause I got answers staring at me this time of year
where did it come from

I have been projecting Katy on everyone i meet
and avoiding trying to really let them see
every movie i have been every book i cant finish
i am a writer of fantasies

captain are we going down
theres people drowning at the bow
give me the ham set i gotta shout this at somebody
at anybody

then i woke up on Lauren's floor
packed my shit and hit the road
cause i got answers screaming at me from New York
it doesnt matter
Track Name: Methadone
Madeline you are the only one that i will let into the space tonight
darker now the evergreen
longer too the space between the front and side
stiller now the rotten seed
and likely not a place for me in better times
baby come inside

now i see the whole of me a frightened child actor on a silver screen
I was never anything, a methadone trip in my room that i believed
now its this and now its mine
and likely not a place for him in awful times
better come alive
Track Name: Boredom
remember when you said to me
about how everybody dies
about how all your friends are liars
that theres just not that much to say

remember when you said to me
about how nothing even matters
yeah it all washes quickly past us anyway

nothing gets to you nothing
rings like the common truth
that youre scratching an itch that isnt there
what was has bound us
and your every thought is a snare
but i spent five hours by myself just yesterday
and i felt grateful just for breathing air

remember when you said to me
about how all your fears are real
and brother everything you feel
is worth its precious weight in gold

remember when you said to me
about how the moment is forever
and dont you go waiting on the future
it's just gonna turn you old

concrete mess
I'm just staring out the windows upstairs
and im thinking that boredom is seldom as harmless as it appears
cause i spent a year all by myself in 2012
now it seems shameful that i ever cared

so join us
enjoy the us today
my past is now
my world all happened right now
Track Name: I Remember
nervous tick
get in bed before the curfew
I can sense
you're innocent
and you can stay with us if you need to

share the bed
and a coffee, man
try a different plan
than the one you've been operating on
since your Dads been gone
honey it wont be long
to pensacola, now
but ill do my best to cherish this
like the 1% everything will be fine
everything is fine

pitch a fit
call it quits
or leave the city for the weekend
I can sense
the air is tense
and you could hear it clear if you'd listen
make a friend or an image, man
lets make them understand
how it was when you couldnt see an end
only you again
honey i dont understand all that much about it, now
but ill do my best to finish this
like an urban myth everything is a lie
everything's a lie

and sometimes i feel alright
sometimes i dont care
and all the time you gave
i remember

and left my parents house
and burned through winter
all longing in a song
thank god i made it here tonight
Track Name: Everyone's Asleep Now
if you want me to stay up all night
and talk to you until the sunshine comes again
then let’s do that my friend

lets get some coffee, get some parliaments
here take my hoodie, lets walk the lakes again
find peace
see brother everyone's asleep now

and the truth is i need you like a father, like a mother
like that i could never feel another way
the same
or be better off

it's Alan Hall on friday evening
I see a calm inside of everything
theres 20 minutes left in daytime
it all falls down

thats why I'm always looking backwards
like I wont ever trust the future at all
I know a party at my friends house
it all falls down

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